By Bryson Kelley
The most important institution we have as a society is the family.
As people, we often lean on man-made institutions – governments, political parties, schools, and so on. These things are good things, but only one is intrinsic to human nature.
We are a social people. We rely on the support, correction, love and rebuking of the people around us. That is no more evident than in the family.
I have lived on both sides of that spectrum. At one point, I rejected the value of having people so close to me. I built up a sense of self-identity to separate myself from my family, thinking I was wise in my own eyes, self-sufficient.
If my family disagreed with me, it generated tension rather than conversation. If we had a problem, there were outbursts rather than discussion. I never felt more alone in my life because my closest social circle was shattered.
Now, however, molded through the lens of my faith in God, I see the purpose-fulfilling value of family. Again, we are a social species. We do not just crave community; we are built for it. Family, in its most fundamental form, is that ideal community.
This stems from the design of family. The family, as designed by God as a sacred institution, is built on the foundation of humble submission and love. The Bible speaks clearly into this on several accounts.
In the book of Ephesians 5:25, it calls for husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…” Similarly, it calls for wives to submit to their husbands in the same way.
What is the point? Humble submission for another built on the foundation of love is the design of the family. That is what holds all things together. The family stems from that unification of the husband and wife, which is joined together through love being the perfect bond of unity.
As a husband and wife humbly submit and love, it creates a family with the same purpose. This purpose is inherent to the institution of family. Sons and daughters see the bond of unity, put on by love, and strive to follow in this example.
I can concede this is all mostly idealistic. There are arguments, disagreements, divorces, rebellious children, abusive parents, family traumas, absent parents, and more issues that directly shake this very core of the family. I have lived through some of this, but many live through far worse.
If the family is a God-given institution, how does the Bible address this? Colossians 3:12-14 gives exhortation to gentleness, humility, forgiveness, peace, and most of all, love. There is an imperative command: to put on love, not just to feel it. To consciously wear it, not subconsciously act by its clear presence.
Unity is worth fighting for. It is worth striving for. Love is worth it. It is never said that there will not be struggles in love. It is never promised that there will not be rough patches in our relationships. What is promised, however, is that love beyond feelings or sentiments yields the need that our very core-being is wanting – community.
Genuine love transcends the darkness through gentleness, humility, forgiveness and peace because it is not a feeling, it is a driven effort. Maybe those efforts are not always successful. Families sometimes do not work.
Yet, the family found in Christ, through His Church, working through love is unfailing and eternal. Whether blood relatives or strangers, God offers family because it is the most sacred institution.
